


Unsaid, Unseen, Undone

by madamecrimson



Series: After All This Is Over Is Where We Began [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment (Web Series)
Genre: COVID-19, F/F, F/M, Fluid Sexuality, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, OT4, Pandemics, Quarantine, Rating May Change, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamecrimson/pseuds/madamecrimson
Summary: Spoilers for the most recent episode of the Watcher podcast, "Here's What You Do" (HWYD).It was one of many all too quiet Saturday evenings in their dimly lit apartments, shadows gliding along the wall, the dull hum of the television in the background.Quarantine had been an unprecedented reprieve from the outside world, a world which was often like a masquerade ball with crowds of people dancing to music across a darkened floor, spinning too fast to pause to catch their breaths, everything blurred in a colorful sea of masks.It was as if someone had scratched the record and everything stopped.In the stillness and the hush, the whisper of clarity comes into focus as the masks fall away.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Marielle Scott, Ryan Bergara/Sara Rubin, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej/Sara Rubin/Marielle Scott, Sara Rubin/Marielle Scott, Shane Madej/Marielle Scott, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin
Series: After All This Is Over Is Where We Began [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730290
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Unsaid, Unseen, Undone

Ryan emerged from the bathroom in a plain white t-shirt and a soft pair of grey sweatpants, shivering as the cold air hit his damp skin. His dark hair was still slightly wet and clung to his forehead, his glasses speckled with little drops of water. When Ryan removed them to clean them off, he noticed Mari sprawled out on the couch, holding her laptop in her lap. Her eyes were bright and sparkling as she gazed admiringly at Ryan, her face glowing warmly in the fading sunlight, her hair in springy curls, just as vivacious as she was. She wore a thinly-strapped white crop top showing off the elegant curve of her shoulders, and light denim shorts that comfortably hugged smooth skin of her thighs. Ryan felt his stomach swoop as he took in the sight of her, before he noticed that she was wearing that all-knowing smirk that always simultaneously melted Ryan's heart, and filled him with tentative concern. Although he was an anxious person, it seemed like he was always drawn to those who could thumb through the pages of his mind with ease, and draw out the swirling thoughts that his mouth wouldn't let him speak.

"I just finished listening to your podcast," Mari told him, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. 

"Oh?" Ryan replied as he put his glasses back on and sat down beside her. 

He felt his stomach swoop for an entirely different reason. 

It would have been a lot easier if Mari was just being playful, if she were to have razzed Ryan a bit on the advice he'd given and then snuggled up against his side. 

But Mari was smart. She knew how to play her cards right and she always played to win. It was one of the many things Ryan loved about her. 

"What did ya think?" Ryan asked, feeling his chest tighten. 

"I didn't know you thought of your relationship with Shane as romantic," Mari said, amused. 

Ryan flushed all the way down to his neck. 

"I--Th-That's _not_ what I said," Ryan sputtered. 

"Oh so you just have 'feelings for him that you couldn't deny'," Mari returned, using air quotes. 

Ryan shook his head. "I said the same thing about Steven. I mean I didn't say--what I meant to say was--" 

Mari nodded her head in mock agreement, a sarcastic expression on her face. 

"You--Stop that!" Ryan told her, but he couldn't help breaking out into a slight smile. 

Mari covered her mouth, knowing she'd be unable to help herself as she gestured for Ryan to continue. 

Ryan sighed as his eyes fell to the floor. There was a heaviness to his posture, an exhaustion within him that seeped all the way down to his bones. Mari dropped her hand from her mouth and placed it on Ryan's shoulder, her face softening as she squeezed it gently. It was unusual for Ryan to fall into silence about anything, sometimes talking a mile a minute when his brain moved faster than his mouth. He was always abuzz with a frenzied sort of energy, always going, moving, working, sometimes pushing himself to the brink of collapse.

"Maybe what you _said_ was about both of them. But what you _meant_ was just about Shane, wasn't it?" Mari asked him softly. 

"I'm not...I'm not gay," Ryan mumbled, shifting uncomfortably where he sat. 

"I didn't say you were," Mari replied gently, brushing her thumb along Ryan's shoulder. 

Ryan squirmed under the sincerity of her gaze. Sure, Mari had joked about Ryan having a thing for Shane since the start of their relationship. She'd seen Unsolved. She'd read plenty of the comments. She was well aware of people's "theories." Ryan had always assumed she was just teasing him about it. He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to look up at her. 

"I've never been attracted to a guy before," Ryan murmured. 

"You mean before Shane," Mari clarified, raising an eyebrow. 

Ryan nodded almost imperceptibly. He'd never admitted the truth to himself, let alone anyone else. And Mari, intelligent as ever, had of course figured it out before he had. 

"I made a commitment to _you_ ," Ryan told her emphatically. 

Mari beamed. "I know you did. You love as hard as you work, as much as you work," she said softly. 

Mari slipped an arm around Ryan's shoulders, not minding in the slightest as he lay his damp head against her, leaning in close. 

"It's possible to be in love with more than one person, you know," Mari explained as she began stroking Ryan's hair. "Especially with how much you feel things." 

Ryan smiled a little at that. Mari was one of the few people Ryan could truly be himself around. She would sob with him during Toy Story, throw his sarcasm right back at him, do silly dances with him in the kitchen, and join in on his Disney karaoke nights. She embraced him when he had panic attacks, and let him shout at the walls in the garage when he needed to release some anger, without thinking any less of him. Ryan lightly toyed with the frayed threads on the hem of Mari's shorts. 

"Shane's straight," Ryan mumbled. "And monogamous as hell." 

"Babe _you're_ the one everyone says is straight and monogamous as hell," Mari replied, rolling her eyes. "And are you 100% sure about Shane?" 

Ryan opened his mouth to argue, realizing that he would merely be giving Mari the same excuses he'd used for himself. He shrugged, honestly uncertain. 

Mari laughed softly, her voice taking on that smooth tone in sometimes did in the lateness of the evening when the last lingering rays of the sun began to disappear into the dark of night. It was calming and warm, and part of why Ryan loved coming home to her every day. 

"You'd think that in 2020 liberal Hollywood, it would be easier for people to be honest about these things. But, it's never easy," Mari sighed. She bit her lip, looking down at Ryan. 

Ryan blinked, looking up at her with curious eyes. Mari only did that when she was hiding something. 

"What aren't you telling me right now?" Ryan asked slowly, trying to read in between the lines. 

"I'm not 100% straight either," Mari confessed. 

Ryan's eyes widened at that. "How come you never told me?" he inquired. 

"How come you never told _me_?" she asked back. 

Ryan sighed, nodding his head. He couldn't really argue with that. 

"I never thought it would come up," Ryan responded quietly. 

"Me either," Mari admitted. "You seemed monogamous and straight. I fell in love with you. What more was there for me to say?"

"Right," Ryan replied after a moment. "So...is there a girl you like too or?" 

Mari's cheeks turned pink. "Maybe," she replied, smiling shyly as she cuddled into him. 

Ryan grinned, amused. It was rare for him to see that look on her face, where she became giggly and bashful, but he adored it whenever he got the chance to. 

"Who is it?" he asked teasingly, slipping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

"You're gonna make fun of me," Mari complained, still sporting that shy grin. 

"Not anymore than usual," Ryan joked, gasping in mock offense when Mari swatted his arm. 

Mari took a deep breath, closing her eyes and pausing for a moment before she answered. "It's Sara," she admitted softly. 

"Sara...Shane's Sara?" Ryan inquired, blinking at her in surprise.

Mari swatted at him some more. "See I knew you were gonna make fun of me!" 

Ryan shook his head, wrapping both his arms around Mari. "I'm not making fun of you. I'm just thinking about how awkward all our double dates must have been." 

Mari giggled gleefully at that and leaned in to kiss him. 

Ryan kissed her back lovingly, letting out a heavy sigh as he pulled away. He really was unsure of what to make of all of this. He'd considered himself straight for his entire life, and he'd pushed aside the way his stomach fluttered around Shane, the way his chest ached at Shane's absence, the way that he went out of his way to get a reaction out of Shane. All of those things would have been signs to let him know that he had feelings for a girl. But Shane was a guy. Not just a guy but his best friend, his work colleague, and now a co-CEO. Even just thinking about it made Ryan's stomach twist uncomfortably. 

At the same time, he felt relief wash over him, a release of tension in his shoulders, a temporary quieting of his mind. He could breathe a little easier, now that he wasn't trying to drown himself in denial. He gazed down at Mari, her eyes soft and understanding. 

"So what do we do now?" he asked her.


End file.
